I am Crookshanks
by CokeFreak
Summary: Story of Crookshanks before Hermione owns him


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Hey… this idea for this story can to be one day in English class. I hope you enjoy the story and please R/R. I do not own any of the characters, they belong to J.K. Rowling!

Ah… the sun shining peacefully on you, sleeping all day, eating whatever, that's the life for me. I love it; I live that kind of life. For I'm a cat and my owner spends all day doing homework. I don't know why… it's a nice day out. She should be out having fun with her friends. I'm Crookshanks by the way, well that's what I'm called. I'm really Collin Prewett and I'm an Animagus. I've been living for a cat for oh about 12 years. Why am I living as a cat? I had a good life but then… well I feel I can't face anyone in the wizard world anymore, well as a human. I can't face my past; it's just too painful… I'm filled with so much guilt; I'd better start from the beginning.

As I said my name is Collin Prewett, my parents and all my relatives were killed when I was 11 years old. I was staying over a friends house and when I got home, there was this mark in the sky over my house and no parents or relatives inside. That hurt a lot, I stayed with friends after but the pain never went away. I always wanted to hurt the man who did it. His name was Lord Voldemort and he had killed my parents to gain support and power. My parents were powerful and some thought if he could kill them he could kill probably anyone. That happened two months before I was to go to Hogwarts.

I felt so lost going to Hogwarts, like I didn't belong. My parents were dead, that made me feel different than everyone else. They used to look at me and say, "There's the kid with no parents. They were killed by "You-Know-Who"." I was sorted into Gryffindor, which pleased me; my parents had been in that house. I wondered, as I sat there if I would have any friends, when I heard people talking next to me.

#### "We have to start this year with a bang," one boy said. Collin saw he had shoulder length black hair. He was grinning in a strange way. "We can't let them think this is a one year thing and we will mature."

****

"How though?" another boy said. Also with black hair it was messy and he had glasses.

"We could sneak into the Slytherin common room!" the first boy said grinning even more.

"We don't know the password," a third boy said. He was different than the other two boys, he had light brown hair and under his eyes were circles like he was very tired. "And it's against the rules!"

"We could find out the password," the first boy said.

"And that's the point!" the second one said. "It's against the rules!"

"Well we can talk about it," the first boy said. 'We have to come up with something good!"

It was the first time I had seen the 3 boys I admired most. Sirius Black, James Potter and Remus Lupin, they were my heroes in life. Troublemakers or mischief-makers as they liked to call themselves they were. They were so smart and brave. They were my idols. Usually in the mornings I would sit in the common room until they came down and I would follow them from a distance. They were 2nd years then. I knew everything about them, all their secrets. I knew Remus was a werewolf and James had a crush of Lily Evans from the moment he first laid eyes on her, but then what boy didn't. I knew they had become Animagus and they made the Marauder's Map. I tried out for the Quidditch Team just to say I'd spoken and played with James Potter. All through Hogwarts I admired them. The year they left, it was so empty, so lonely. I still saw them though; they were always meeting with Professor Dumbledore. It was one day; I had finished the N.E.W.T.S, which I was very pleased about. I had seen the 3 of them enter Dumbledore's office. I was called in there later by Professor McGonagall and that's where everything began. 

"Mr. Prewett, glad you came," he said pleasantly. I looked around; James, Sirius and Remus were sitting in the corner watching.

"I came as soon as Professor McGonagall told me you wanted to see me," I said.

"Well to business," Dumbledore said. "I would like you to join my spy system against Lord Voldemort."

"I would be delighted," I answered at once.

"Good… good," Dumbledore said. "I must warn you though, it's very dangerous. You would be doing the actual spying. James, Sirius and Remus will teach you a few things to help you but you will be alone once you start spying."

"They don't spy then?" I asked looking at them.

"They do some," Dumbledore said his eyes sparkling a little bit. "They never tell me how but when we hear something big is going to happen, they come back with all the information." My stomach turned. Dumbledore didn't know they were Animagus. That's how they did the spying.

Outside of Dumbledore's office I approached them. "Hey," I said shyly.

"Hello," James said.

"Can you teach me to become an Animaga?" I asked. This had been on my mind for awhile. It sounded so cool and now was a perfect chance it would help me.

"We don't know how," James answered.

"I know you two are Animagus," I said. "I saw you sneak out and I followed you a few years ago. You're a stag and you're a dog." 

"Why do you want to become an Animagus?" Sirius asked.

"To help me spy," I said. "Sneak around, stuff you used to do." 

They studied me for awhile and then looked at each other. "Right, its not easy, a lot of stuff could go wrong," Remus said.

"It didn't for you," I pointed out.

"All right, but you are going to do it the legal way." Sirius said. "Once you become an Animaga, you are going to register."

"Agreed!" I said.

"And we will start next week," Remus said. "After your training session."

And so it began, I worked hard with them for 3 weeks. They gave me advice, taught me how to use the Unforgivables and many other curses. They even brought me along when Death Eaters attacked. They told me it would do me good, see if I had the stomach for it. I threw up the first 7 times. After our sessions they would take me to the library at James' house where they made the potion and we worked on the charms.

After 4 weeks I was ready. I worked with Dumbledore to change my hair and my name. He did things with my mind making me forget I was Collin Prewett for Voldemort could probably read minds. I always knew deep down who I was but in my mind I was Michael Jaggers.

The night came, the night I was to go to Lord Voldemort. I was scared, nervous and was full of hate. I was meeting the man who had killed my parents so long ago.

"Master, there is someone to se you," a short man in a panicking voice said. I stared at him wondering who it was. He looked familiar but he had a cloak over his head so I could not see his face.

"Show me him," Lord Voldemort said. 

I stepped toward him. I was in a castle sort of place. It was a dark place with just a few torches around. There were Death Eaters on either side of him as he sat in a high chair. As I looked at him he was twirling his wand but he stopped as he asked, "Who are you?"

"I am Michael Jaggers," I said. "I want to be a Death Eater."

He studied me for a few minutes, "Really?" he said coldly. "Jaggers, how old are you?"

"18 years old." I replied.

"Fresh out of Hogwarts?" 

"Yes," I answered.

"My Lord, or master is to be said at the end of those sentences if you are to join me."

"Yes my lord," I replied bowing.

"Very good," he replied. As he talked he reminded me much of a snake. It was sickening to look at him but I did not turn away. "I will watch over you. Have someone take you on their missions, see if you are the person you say."

He had Lucius Malfoy watch me and I went with him on a few missions. It was sick, he stood torturing muggles. Sometimes if there was a big crowd he would turn the Muggles upside down in the air, or he would perform the Cruciatus **Curse on them. He ended up killing them. I stood watching it pretending I was enjoying it but my stomach was really turning. He was having too much fun to notice me so one time it was just too much; I went outside and threw up.**

#### I asked Dumbledore what I was to do about this. I couldn't stand it. He placed his hands on my shoulder and said the words I never forgot, "I picked you because you've been through a lot. I know you will learn to be able to handle it. Your tougher than you think." I never ever forgot that, it was three simple sentences but it helped me through everything, knowing Dumbledore really trusted me.

****

******

It was three weeks later; Malfoy had come to my house because Voldemort had called a meeting. He brought to be to the place and we waited and everyone came. 

He stood in front of me, looked around him and said in a cold voice, "Well my young Death Eater, I welcome you to my group. Stick out your arm." Bewildered I did as whispers broke around the group.

"Are you ready to serve me faithfully? To serve me to death, to do as I say, to hate Muggles? Are you ready to keep quiet on everything we do here?"  
  
"Yes my lord." I replied so everyone could hear me. 

"Well if you do not do any of these things, they can and will result in death. And now the final test." He took his wand, rolled up my sleeve, and mouthed a few words and pain spread through me! My first instinct was to scream as loud and long as I could but I did not. I bit down on my tongue until it started to bleed. I wanted so bad to hit his wand away, and stop the pain, but I didn't. I put my fist into a ball and waited. I would not scream! I would not let him know it was killing me. And then it stopped. I had fallen to my knees, sweat was running down my forehead but I had not screamed.

"Brave Death Eater," Voldemort said laughing. "Why did you not scream."

"I'm tougher than that my Lord," I answered really starting to hate having to call him Lord.

"We will see," Voldemort whispered. "We will see…"

****

I showed Dumbledore my arm the next day and he spend time thinking about it. "It makes sense," he said. "That gives him total control of them. I bet it does other things, to make sure you come when he calls."

"So what now?" I asked.

"Do what He says, report to me," Dumbledore said. "And try to find out who the Death Eaters are."

"I know Lucius Malfoy," I said.

"But more is better," Dumbledore said. "Find out anything you can."

"I will," I promised and left.

It started out as best as could be expected. Voldemort sent me out on missions, sometimes alone. I always hoped to be alone for with the help of Dumbledore I always managed not to complete the job without His knowing. If I was to kill a family, I would save the kids but so not to arouse suspicion I would kill the parents. It killed me to do so but I had to.

*****

I had been doing this for about a long, hard year. When I heard he was ready to kill the Potters I was very nervous. He wanted to kill James and his wife Lily. I knew they had a son now, Harry who was about 3 months. I told Dumbledore right away and it surprised me when he said he all ready knew and was taking measures to save them. He mentioned something about one of the Death Eaters pleading mercy and forgiveness went to him with this information showing he wanted to return to him. I think his name was Snape but I'm not sure. I was on the constant alert for any news about this situation.

It was one day, I had just become an Animaga and I was a cat. James told me that I couldn't choose what animal I was to be and it was based on my personality and all. Well I was running around enjoying being an Animaga when I heard people talking.

"My… lord… they have… made me… their Secret Keeper," it was the short man with the squeaky strutting voice talking. I still didn't know who it was. But he didn't have his hood on. I stared at him not believing who it was. It was Peter Pettigrew. He was one of James Potter's friends. How could he be a Death Eater?

"Well done Wormtail," Voldemort who walked next to him said. "They do not suspect you?"

"No… my lord," Wormtail said. "They… believe me… to be weak… afraid… not the type… to do… your work…"

"Well your friends are correct," Voldemort said. "You shiver at my voice, quiver at my command, shake at my touch, you aren't loyal to me, you come to me for power. But you do seem to do some things right."

"Yes my lord."

"Tell me," Voldemort said not in the calm voice he always spoke in. "Where are they?"

I couldn't believe it. Wormtail looked around; he swallowed, looked around again. I was hiding and he looked right where I was. He seemed to be struggling with himself. And then he said quietly, "In Godric's Hollow." 

Anger swelled up in me, a friend of James Potter just betrayed him. I never admired Peter Pettigrew as much as James but he was his friend. I felt shattered! One of my hero's friends a Death Eater and a betrayer. He could be a spy like me, but no he wouldn't betray James. Unless it was a decoy and he wasn't really there but why bother do that? If Peter was a spy he would be killed if Voldemort didn't find them there. He had to do something? But what… go tell Dumbledore? But how could I tell Dumbledore that Peter Pettigrew a friend of James was a Death Eater? I felt lost; I didn't know what to do. I turned away running at full pace for where I didn't know.

****

I went back to my house where I didn't leave for two days. I knew what I should do but I felt like I had been slapped in the face, whipped and beaten. What if James, Sirius and Remus were Death Eaters too? I didn't know many of the Death Eaters; they could easily be three of the Death Eaters who were always hooded. Maybe that's how they found out about the big things, and changed a few things on the information. Maybe being Animagus had nothing to do with it. What could I do? How could I face my heroes now?

Two days later an owl came into the house with my Daily Prophet. I put it down and it unfolded. I didn't want to read it right now but the headline caught my eye. "YOU-KNOW-WHO GONE!" I gasped for breath and read it. Phases like "the Potters dead." "Son Harry with Muggles." "Boy who lived killed Voldemort." The Potters were dead… he had done it. Peter had really betrayed them… how could he? How could he betray one of his friends? 

I felt shattered. What had I done? I had stayed quiet! Why hadn't I told Dumbledore! How could I have thought they might be Death Eaters? Why? I could have saved them! I could have told someone! But I didn't… I stayed quiet and now they were dead. And it was because of him… it was because of me! Only I knew other than Voldemort and Pettigrew what they were going to do. WHY? Why didn't I say anything? 

What could I do? I couldn't face Sirius, Remus or Dumbledore anymore. It was my fault their friend was dead! It was my fault James and Lily were dead! It was my fault Harry didn't have parents! I closed my eyes… I could see them, begging me to tell someone. James, asking why? Why had I stayed quiet? I started to cry. I destroyed their lives. Dumbledore… he loved James so much, like a son, he admired him so much. I had destroyed his life too. I knew what I had to do… I turned into a cat and I ran still crying.

For the next 12 years I did two things. First I was on my own, in the world. I almost died from hunger. That wouldn't have been that bad, but one day I was in Diagon Alley looking for food and I was caught. I spend 7 years in a store to be sold. I got food everyday, water and a place to sleep but they saved me from dying. I would rather have died… I didn't deserve to live after what I did. I was a very mean, tempered cat but can you blame me? No one wanted to buy me and I didn't want to be bought. One day a boy came in with a rat, it was a battered rat, with a toe missing. I knew him at once, I don't know how to got a toe missing but it was Peter Pettigrew, I saw him transform so much I knew at once. He was hiding like me and I supposed Sirius or Remus must have guessed and he got scared and ran. It was funny, the night before I had a dream, the same one, I was filled with guilt and hate. When I saw him I knew what I had to do, I tried to catch him, to kill him. I didn't get him and right then some girl bought me. That's where I am now, the girl that bought me, her name is Hermione Granger. I'm sitting in a room, the Leaky Caldron. I suppose I'll be going to Hogwarts soon, she has enough books to fill the library there. I've only been here few hours but I think I've found her friends. Of all people of course… Harry Potter. And Ron Weasley, I remember the Weasleys from back then. Big wizarding family. Oh God, why is Harry Potter her friend. Why now do I have to look at what I've done? I look at Harry and I see James! Haven't I been punished enough? I want to change back into Collin and apologized for everything but that wouldn't be safe. I guess he have to continue to look at me as a cat and I as the son of the man I killed… I murdered.

That's my story, my sad story. What would I give to go back to before the Potter's died and told Dumbledore or them? I would give anything… anything.

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Hey… what did you think? Okay story? I hope so! I enjoyed writing, trying to figure what is with Crookshanks. He's just too smart for a cat I think! Once again, I don't own any of the characters expect Collin, because I don't think he exists.


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